Happy Valentines from your friends at Peerset!

I’ve been making valentines (the only part of valentines day I actually like) and have been thinking about some of the dating social networks we partner with at Peerset. Knee-deep in doilies and conversation hearts, with coupling on my mind and paste on my fingers, I took a break to catch an episode of How I Met Your Mother. On the popular TV sitcom the following exchange frequently unfolds:

Ted and his lovable but semi-disgusting friend Barney are at their local bar and spot a beautiful woman whom neither of them knows. Obnoxious Barney brazenly approaches the lady-victim and asks, “Have you met Ted?” throwing unsuspecting Ted in her path, forcing him to engage.

As you can imagine, this tactic never works, even if bumbling Ted manages to score a date. Aside from the fact that the lady in question cannot be the woman Ted marries (the show is set up as a long-winded walk down memory lane directed at Ted’s kids, so if Ted were to actually meet his kids’ mother, the series would end), Ted is destined to fail precisely because he is set up by his friend.

Why?

Simple. Letting your friends set you up is a dangerous game because while friends share a lot of interests in common, it’s not always the case that you and your friends like the same things - and that goes for movies, books, food and future-wives. The person your friend sets you up with might not be interested in any of the things you are just because they’re in your network, virtual or real-life. Your well-intentioned friend’s matchmakery is not a reflection his notion that you two are compatible, it’s reflection of one thing and one thing alone: what your friend really thinks of you…and that can be inaccurate or in the worst case scenario, insulting as in the example to follow.

I learned this bit-o-wisdom from an episode of This American Life(one of my interests that borderlines on obsession) called Matchmakers in which producer Jane Feltes is set up by her friend Ray with a guy…let’s call him Larry. The date is an unmitigated disaster and the most unfortunate consequence is that Jane belies that Ray must have a very low opinion of her to set her up with Larry, who, arriving late, unkempt and stoned, turns out to be a total chump. “Does Ray think I’m that desperate?”

Poor Jane. She should have used OkCupid or Lavalife, eliminating the third-party human error. Granted, there is a fair amount of risk involved in online dating, but at least matches are based on shared interests instead of Ray’s poor judgment.

I have to pause to ponder the possibility of a Peerset-enabled dating site, in which sweethearts would be matched from a universe of correlated interests, a scientific solution liberating the lonely from the Barneys and Rays of the world! But until the day that Peerset science creates heaven on earth, don’t loose heart!

Allison

Allison Light fled New York to join Peerset in January 2010. Among Allison’s many interests are Arts & Crafts, How I Met Your Mother,This American Life and working at Peerset, SF…

…which means she must also like shooting pool, smoothies and holding hands (that’s right, HOLDING HANDS is an interest in our system!)

Like Valentines, How I Met Your Mother or hand-holding? Let us know!